New scientific discovery: rain comes from a giant monkey


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It has long been believed that rain comes from clouds, but a new discovery shows that rain is actually from a giant monkey in space spitting on people.

Scientists have not been able to reach the monkey due to the fact that it is too far for shuttles to travel, but it is believed that the monkey begins spitting on the Earth when it is angry.

The monkey has been dubbed Spitty the Monkey, for obvious reasons. Tony Tsujisaka, former citizen of Earth, has some concerns about health from being exposed to monkey spit for so long.

“As soon as  I found out that I had been walking around in monkey spit for years, I had to move away from Earth. They say that its spit is just as good as fresh water, but because of recent mutations involving the growth of a third arm, I have my doubts,” said Tsujisaka.

Due to security purposes, Tsujisaka has refused to name the planet on which he now resides. “I don’t want to take any chances that the monkey follows me to my knew home to spit on me there.”

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