While many kids struggled with isolation during the pandemic, 12-year-old Jacob Heller faced a more personal challenge: his mother, Hannah Heller, had breast cancer. He is one of 2.85 million U.S. children with a parent battling cancer, according to Anticancer Research.
“Her treatment was every day for three months, and though it wasn’t bad, she was often irritable, which caused arguments,” Jacob Heller said.
The challenges didn’t end there. After finishing radiation treatment, Hannah Heller began taking Leuprolide, a monthly hormone suppressant. According to the Cleveland Clinic, Leuprolide stimulates the ovaries to produce more estrogen, but after two weeks, the pituitary gland signals the ovaries to stop. This leaves her exhausted.
“She gets this shot every month, and it affects her a lot,” Jacob Heller said. “She gets very groggy and tired.”
Despite the challenges, the Heller family considered itself fortunate. Unlike some patients, Hannah Heller required only one Leuprolid shot per month, not multiple.
“It costs about $1,000, but we’re lucky she only needs one instead of multiple,” Jacob Heller said. “It’s a lot of money, but we can handle it.”
As his mother’s treatment progressed, Jacob Heller found himself taking on adult responsibilities to support the family. From cleaning the house to cooking meals, the role shift added stress to his life.
“The treatment almost took my mom out of the picture,” Jacob Heller said. “It really changed the parent-child dynamic, which shifted my responsibilities.”
Initially, the adjustment was overwhelming. Findings from Anticancer Research show that children of cancer patients often experience increased stress and must sacrifice social activities.
“My stress was the highest at first,” Jacob Heller said. “I didn’t know what was going on.”
Narth’s insight
For Kieron Narth, the challenges were different but no less significant. His mother, diagnosed with cancer while pregnant, developed dementia after treatment, which created trust issues within their relationship.
“Because of memory loss, Kieron Narth’s mom says one thing,” said his father, Paul Narth. “Then later, she says another, which creates distrust.”
The effects of her illness extended beyond daily routines, altering family traditions and plans.
“We can’t travel,” Paul Narth said. “For example, when we want to travel, we must travel with her. It requires more planning, or it’s just impractical to do.”
From adversity to strength
Though their journeys differed, both boys discovered how adversity could foster emotional growth. Their experiences reveal how children, though deeply affected by their parents’ illnesses, can develop resilience, coping mechanisms, and a deeper understanding of their emotional capacities. Even in the face of immense challenges, they found ways to grow, demonstrating the remarkable strength children can find during difficult times.
“I’ve been through some tough things,” Kieron Narth said. “But I feel like my mom’s illness has helped me overcome emotional distress.”
