“Dad, please, why can’t you remember what happened? Come on, Dad, just try and remember.”

This was the plea of Holly Fidrych on the day that her father got into a car accident on his way home from church. It was a peaceful Sunday morning when Fidrych got a call that her father had been in a car crash. Fidrych’s father had allegedly run a red light and was hit by a car that was turning left at the stoplight. The odd thing was that he could not remember being at fault.

Her father hadn’t been formally diagnosed with Alzheimer’s yet, but this accident was a telltale sign of the disease.

Fidrych’s experience is far from unique. What happened to her father is just one example of a much larger reality. One that millions of families face as Alzheimer’s slowly reshapes the lives of everyone it touches.

Alzheimer’s disease affects people worldwide, robbing them of their memories and independence. Unfortunately, the toll of this disease isn’t limited to those who are diagnosed. Families, often caregivers, are forced into an emotional and physical battle, watching their loved ones fade away day by day. 

The strain can be overwhelming, leading to high rates of depression among caregivers, many of whom face isolation, exhaustion, and a sense of helplessness. As Alzheimer’s progresses, the ripple effect on families becomes undeniable; it’s a challenge that stretches far beyond the individual, leaving lasting scars on those who love them. 

Alzheimer’s disease

As of 2025, 7.2 million Americans age 65 and older live with Alzheimer’s disease, according to the Alzheimer’s Association. Alzheimer’s is the most common form of dementia and slowly detioriates a person’s memory and thinking skills. 

“Parts of the brain do change with normal aging, but the part that becomes Alzheimer’s disease, that’s not normal aging,” said Stanford Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences Dolores Gallagher-Thompson.

Alzheimer’s gradually causes a decline in cognitive functioning, including thinking, memory, reasoning, and behavioral abilities. These symptoms significantly interfere with a person’s daily life and activities, causing them to lose the ability to perform essential tasks such as eating and walking, according to the National Institute on Aging. 

“It’s like you’re peeling away all the layers of knowledge and memory and ability that the person once had, little by little,” said Michelle Bauchemp, an Alzheimer’s caregiver for her mother. 

Bauchemp’s mother was formally diagnosed with Alzheimer’s when she fell and broke her hip two years ago. After the fall, Bauchemp had to bring her mother to live with her, where she watched her memory decline exponentially.  

Alzheimer’s disease begins by damaging parts of the brain responsible for memory, and later affects areas responsible for language, reasoning, and social behavior. 

Although it is the sixth leading cause of death in the United States, there is currently no known cure for the disease, according to the National Center for Health Statistics. The lack of a cure poses a threat to millions of families who experience the struggle of taking care of a loved one with the disease. 

Alzheimer’s effects on caregivers

Lionel Engelman, a caregiver, experiences the difficulties of caring for someone with Alzheimer’s every day. 

Engelman used to live with his wife, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s eight years ago. When living with her became too difficult and demanding for him, he had to transfer her to a memory care home. Over the years, his wife’s Alzheimer’s has unfolded in ways that he could never have predicted. 

“It’s a very hard disease on the loved ones because there’s no timetable for what occurs and when. There’s no straight line down,” Engelman said. “There can be jumps down, it could be gradual, and you don’t know when the end will come.”

Engelman also makes significant efforts to visit his wife every day in memory care, despite it being incredibly hard on his mental state. 

“Every day I’m in a form of grief because I’ve lost so much of my wife, and what remains is just a fragment of what she was,” Engelman said.

Engelman’s experience is not an isolated one. Across countless families, caregivers grapple with the same painful paradox of watching someone they love disappear in slow motion, even as they continue to show up for them every day. 

“I cry for my mom even though she’s still alive. She’s right in front of me, but I miss her. I miss who she once was,” Bauchemp said. 

Frustration is another typical feeling when caregiving, as the patient can’t think for themselves.

“It’s very frustrating because she won’t do what I ask her to do because she doesn’t know why she should,” Bauchemp said. 

Moreover, caregivers experience strong emotions of guilt as a result of leaving their loved ones for periods of time.

“I feel so much guilt. If I ever want to leave town with my kids, I worry so much, and it’s hard to feel free,” Bauchemp said. 

Physical effects are also observed among caregivers, as the role is very physically demanding. For example, caregiving can cause sleepless nights and significant stress on the body, according to the National Library of Medicine. Caregivers may also start to forget about their own health when caring for someone with Alzheimer’s, both physically and mentally.

“The caretaker is physically exhausted and could actually go before the person with Alzheimer’s,” Fidrych said. 

The aftermath

When a loved one with Alzheimer’s passes, caregivers often enter a period that feels just as complicated as the years they spent providing care. The long process of watching someone decline forces them to confront grief long before death actually arrives, and that grief doesn’t just disappear once the journey ends. Instead, caregivers face a new mix of emotions.

Despite the heaviness of the experience, many caregivers also discover something unexpected within themselves after the end of the disease.

“In general, caregivers find that there’s a positive aspect to this, which is building their own resilience that they can cope with future problems,” Gallagher-Thompson said. 

However, even with resilience, the emotional aftermath can still feel overwhelming. The relief that comes when the constant worry and decline are finally over often brings its own weight. 

“The sense of relief can be confusing to caregivers unless they know that’s what to do because oftentimes then they feel even more guilty,” Gallagher-Thompson said. 

Caregivers face enormous challenges, but support exists for a reason. Educational resources, caregiver groups, and communities of others experiencing the same journey can provide guidance, understanding, and relief.

“You can’t take care of someone else if you don’t take care of yourself,” Fidrych said.

Alzheimer’s caregiving is a marathon, not a sprint. It demands endurance, patience, and strength, but even within the hardest moments, families are urged to hold on to what still remains. 

“There is a window of opportunity, I would say to seize those moments because they are so precious,” Bauchemp said.