It’s time for President Donald Trump to start his own religion officially.
After offending many Catholics with an artificial intelligence-generated image of himself as pope, Trump should declare himself the pope of Trumpism.
In Trumpism, the last prophet is the 45th and 47th president of the United States, with the holy scripture being the “God Bless the USA” Bible — the only Bible officially endorsed by Trump.
“I want to have a lot of people have it,” Trump said in an interview in March back in 2024, promoting the Bible, which also contains the Bill of Rights, the Pledge of Allegiance, and the Constitution. “You have to have it for your heart and for your soul.”
Trumpism uniquely blends aggressive advertising and an emphasis on mental health, widening the religion’s appeal.
Trump is selling the Bibles with “Trump 2028” baseball caps and miniature iron statues of himself. Forget about traditional religious symbols. Political apparel is sacred to followers of Trumpism.
Trumpism, however, is more than religion. It’s about using other people’s money to pay what you owe.
That’s why Trump ramped up the promotion of the “God Bless the USA” Bible when facing numerous legal bills and civil lawsuits in early 2024. Sales of the Bible will most likely fall short of covering Trump’s financial woes.
Consequently, the pope of Trumpism is embracing Trumpism’s more punitive side. Harsh and dehumanizing treatment is a necessity to pressure people into converting.
Like any good pope, Trump wants the best for his religion. That’s why opposing Trumpism publicly will be punished with derogatory name-calling.
In some cases, Trump could even call you the name of a cartoon character if you’re lucky.
Name-calling, however, is just one tenet of a doctrine in Trumpism titled “What to Do About People Who Don’t Agree With You.”
This doctrine enables the pope of Trumpism to threaten anyone who opposes either the religion or the pope.
“The fact that there’s a price, that there’s a cost to opposing the government, means that we are already in an authoritarian situation,” said Harvard professor Steven Levitsky in an interview with NPR.
Perhaps Trumpism isn’t a unique religion after all, but rather a branch of authoritarianism.
Trumpism does show mercy, however. Opponents of Trumpism can be forgiven by making financial contributions to Trump, ensuring the continuation of his reign as the pope of Trumpism.
Many millionaires and billionaires, including Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, and Mark Zuckerberg, have found solace in Trumpism after previously voting Democrat, a cardinal sin according to the religion.
Given the recent mass conversion of Americans, perhaps Trumpism will surpass all other religions in North America. Take that, Pope Leo XIV.
