Why airports are evil


You are never alone in the struggle against the airport.

I have a beef with the airport.

It’s been going on for about five years now, and, in fact, if someone were to ask me what my least favorite place in the world is, my answer without hesitation would be the airport.

Before I get into this topic, I first want to say that I am not trying to sound like an over-privileged teenager who doesn’t appreciate how lucky I am to travel to cool places by airplane. But with that being said, I do want to call attention to the numerous areas that the airport can improve upon.

The first is Transportation Security Administration, also known as TSA or the Sexual Harassment Committee. After I have gotten to the front of the line full of people who I swear have never been to an airport in their life, I am faced with the most uncomfortable three minutes. On the outside, I just smile and comply with everything, but on the inside I’m thinking, “Sir, I know that you’re just trying to do your job, but do you really need to go through all the underwear in my carry-on and pat down my ponytail, stomach, and legs?”

I am very relieved that I am not the only one who believes this, as 61 percent of Americans oppose full-body checks and 35 percent believe it is sexual harassment, according to the Wall Street Journal.

After being traumatized at TSA, next comes the walk to the gate. On the way to the gate, the airport tries to tempt you into buying some drinks, snacks, or magazines, all the while concealing the fact that it is all ridiculously overpriced. (Seriously I bought a one-person salad for $20.95.)

When it is time to board, we are all subjected to watch first class passengers walk that tiny little red carpet, so they can claim their extra five feet of leg room. Once we take our seats, we play the waiting game to see who we will have to sit next to for the whole duration of the flight. This includes that moment when you see a woman with a screaming baby or a very large man walking down the aisle, and you think to yourself, ‘Please don’t sit next to me. Please don’t be me.’ But it’s always you. It always is.

Then you have the poor misguided man who thinks that if he shoves his huge carry-on into the overhead bin enough times, maybe it will finally fit.

Finally, it is time for take off, or as I like to call it, 10 minutes of absolute silence where everyone is contemplating whether or not we’re all going to die.

For me personally, the actual flying part is not so bad, except when there’s turbulence. I love the little airplane cups they give you, I love the weird movies and TV shows they play, and I love listening to the stories of the people who sit by you.

But all this comes crashing down when it is time for baggage claim and you realize that you are the millionth person to carry a black duffel bag. According to the Wall Street Journal, there were 21.8 million mishandled bags last year.  Someone always takes your bag by mistake or you always take someone else’s bag by mistake or your bag just gets sent to a completely different airport.

I know that those who work at airports work very hard at their jobs. I know that nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes. I just happen to think that the airport is the center for mistakes. This is my beef with the airport and I hope that you can relate to some of this, too, and know that you are not alone in the struggle against the airport.

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