The Effects of Child Molestation

In a typical household, taking out the trash or putting away the dishes are regular chores that children do. For Christine Lopez, Bobbie Becerra, Debra Collins, and Samantha Prasad, a chore that was ingrained in the memories of their childhood was sexual abuse. 

All of these survivors dealt with abuse from a father or authoritative figure in their life at an extremely young age. 

Lopez was molested from the age of four until she was 16 by her father. At a young age, she was not vividly aware of what was happening to her, and when she was aware, helpful resources were unavailable to her. She grew up in a household with her abuser (father), mother, and brothers. Her mother worked a lot, meaning Lopez was forced to spend much alone time with him. 

“I was conditioned and used to it,” Lopez said, explaining her lack of reaching out.

As a young child, multiple factors contributed to her prolonged silence. One, she was not old enough to even know how to advocate for herself. Two, it was considered a “chore” for her and something she grew up with, not even fully aware that it was wrong. 

“I didn’t want to be blamed for breaking up my family,” Lopez said. This fear that was instilled in her prevented her from telling anyone in her life or standing up for herself. 

At the age of 16, Lopez started dating and wanted to stay loyal to her boyfriend, encouraging her to stop her abuse. She started saying no to her father whenever he attempted to molest her, which began to happen less and less.

Bobbie Becerra, from age five up until 35, was also molested. Being born into an environment where her mom would bring men home, she was raised in a life where it was customary to be sexually assaulted. She grew up with her mother, who would usually bring home the men who molested her, and her older brother, who also experienced molestation from these men. 

“If I can keep my brother safe one more day, then I’m going to keep him safe one more day,” Becerra said about her and her brother battling the same instances. Growing up very close to one another, she would protect him in any way that she could.

“I asked my mom, you know, why do we keep doing this, and I recognized as an adult that is an incredibly confronting moment when your five-year-old daughter comes to you and is asking why does this happen?… I felt like I was being as direct as possible. And my mom simply said, ‘That’s just the way it is,'” Becerra said.

Being conditioned to this sort of pain, Beccera was suicidal at the age of five. 

Luckily, her attempt was unsuccessful, and she has spent her life recovering and inspiring others. She began therapy at the age of 20 and took many other steps to heal, including publishing a book about her experience. 

Samantha Prasad is a 32-year-old woman who is also a survivor of child molestation. Her uncle-in-law assaulted Prasad for four years, from ages six to ten. 

“When I was six years old, he would undress me. He would touch my breasts, my vagina, he inserted his fingers and things into me, and that just went on for years,” Prasad said. 

Dealing with this kind of trauma at such a young age took a toll on Prasad, both emotionally and physically.

She shared, “I remember after he would abuse me and molest me, every time I peed after it would hurt.”

The abuse lessened as she got older, but Prasad still kept quiet due to the lack of support from her family. She knew that her family would victim blame her and not hold her uncle accountable. When she was 24 years old, she saw her uncle begin to do the same things to her younger cousin. Thinking about someone else having to go through what she went through pushed her to speak up. 

Prasad told the entirety of her family all at once at an Easter celebration and faced a variety of reactions from her family.

“In the beginning, most of my family rallied around me other than my mom’s sister and her husband, my abuser. They actually had two daughters as well, and they still to this day blame me and think it’s my fault and that, at six years old, I ‘seduced’ him,” Prasad said.

Prasad was able to put her abuser in jail. He was released in December 2020, not serving even half of his sentence. His release was a difficult time for Prasad, but she powered through it. 

Her trauma and pain inspired her to become a sexual assault counselor and help other victims. She is able to help sexual assault victims every day, but her position helps her see how fortunate she was in speaking out and getting help, unlike many other victims whose stories are not heard or ignored.

“He doesn’t get to win. He doesn’t get to have that power over me,” Prasad said when asked about her motivation to better her life and become the successful woman she is today. 

Like other victims, Debra Collins grew up in a home where her father molesting her was a daily occurrence. He would sneak into her room at night and touch her sexually. 

When she turned nine, he began to try penetration, and at that point, her parents got divorced. Her father got custody of her and began to abuse her until she started dating in high school and ended it due to disloyalty to her boyfriend.

After moving out and getting married at the age of 22, she had still told no one due to feelings of embarrassment. She pushed her trauma so far down that she rarely thought about it or held her father accountable. 

When she was pregnant, she began to experience severe anxiety attacks and started going to therapy to deal with her neglected trauma. Along with counseling, she also turned to alcohol as a way to cope with her pain. 

One day after years and years of emotional healing, Collins decided to confront her father about everything he did to her. With her husband sitting next to her, holding her hand as she picked up the phone, she dialed her father with whom she was on generally good terms, aside from the fact that he molested her for years and they never once spoke about it. 

“You molested me,” Collins said.

He made excuses for how he was not mentally stable and dealt with anxiety and agoraphobia. 

Collins published a novel about her assault that she could not allow herself to publish until a full four years after her father’s death. Though he brought her a lot of pain and damage at a very young age, his death still hit Collins very hard. 

She lay in the darkest room of her house for hours, thinking about how she was now the only one who knew the secret. 

This continued up until the publication of her book. 

Though now an accomplished and recovered individual, Collins still had to overcome many obstacles to get to where she is now. Her sexual health was permanently compromised from her assault, and she has never been able to orgasm even when the “sexual chemistry” with a partner was very satisfying. 

Collins said, “He took my innocence.”