Scrolling through a close friend’s highlight reel or story on Instagram might seem harmless in the moment, but for many teens, it can drastically change their perspective on friendships. Behind instant messaging and the ease of sharing whatever you want, whenever you want, social media has redefined what it means to feel “connected.”

After hours of social media use, the communications and friendships made on these platforms could be genuine or crumble under the weight of commitment and lack of effort.

Rise of the digital era

In the digital era of smart devices and shared pictures, social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram have had their original intent transformed.

For example, Facebook, originally intended to share with friends what you’re up to, has evolved into a social media platform that promotes funny memes and mindless scrolling. According to The Week Magazine, Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg recently stated that only 20% of content on Facebook and a staggering 10% on Instagram actually comes from your friends. Advertisements and algorithm-generated recommendations dominate the other 80% to 90%.

“Social media platforms have shifted dramatically from their modest beginnings. Early platforms like the original Facebook were designed simply to connect college students or facilitate small social networks. Over time, they transformed into broad, all-purpose communication hubs, often functioning as substitutes for real-life interaction,” said Mark Granovetter, a sociologist at Stanford University.

An example of one of these earlier platforms, originally intended as a fun way to connect with friends, is MySpace, one of the first social media platforms to emerge.

“Back in the day of MySpace, you were mostly connecting. These were mostly college students who were using social media. Remember, Facebook was only designed for college students at the very beginning. You were mostly connecting with your offline friends, and now young people are using things like X and TikTok,” said Adrianna Manago, a social media expert at the University of California, Santa Cruz.

Although MySpace might have been designed for connecting with your offline friends, over time, platforms shifted to another dimension: connecting people online who don’t know each other and helping them bond without ever meeting in person.

Amanda Lenhart from the Pew Research Center reports that 57% of all teens have made new friends online. Friendships that once relied on real-life connections have largely shifted to the digital world, and this shift could be harming users.

Negative impact of social media

An example of how social media can negatively project onto people is that it blurs the boundary between reality and perfection. According to Lenhart of the Pew Research Center, 40% of teen social media users feel pressure to post content that makes them look good, and 39% feel pressure to post content that, in their eyes, will be more appealing and garner more likes and comments.

Manago adds that people who see content posted by others to make them seem perfect experience negative mental effects.

“We know on some level that this is just that they’re putting their best foot forward. They’re only posting things that are positive. It still lands with us emotionally sometimes, especially for adolescents to feel bad about themselves, to engage in that downward social comparison,” Manago said.

Additionally, as teens spend more of their free time online, physical interactions begin to decrease. Social media use can lead to a decline in social skills and a reduction in physical interaction.

According to Lenhart from Pew Research Center, 55% of teens text every day, but only 25% actually have physical meetups. The convenience of digital relationships can almost eliminate the need for in-person meetups, potentially harming a relationship.

“A lot of times, for example, a few friends may plan to meet up but won’t actually meet up. And I think a lot of this is because through the digital growth, you’ve been able to just call each other and create group chats to talk to each other over long distances and not have to actually go in person to have fun with each other,” said Connor Hoang, a sophomore at Carlmont High School.

For teens with social anxiety, the online world may provide a temporary escape, but it limits their ability in social situations and limits their potential connections with others.

“Let’s say you have a few hours of free time that you could have spent with your family, maybe watching a movie or doing a family activity. Instead, you’re scrolling on like TikTok or Instagram,” said Eli Chen, a sophomore at Carlmont High School.

This impact doesn’t only reach friendships, it extends deep into family life and healthy child-parent connections. An example of this is Hoang’s personal experience with his mom.

“I think it kind of disconnects us because we’re in this kind of social divide where maybe they want to spend time with me, while I just want to isolate myself. I just kind of want to do my own thing,” Hoang said.

Hoang suggests that this effect on an individual’s family is amplified within the user’s family more than among friends, because one spends more time with family.

Why social media isn’t at fault

However, it isn’t all bad. Users argue that, based on their personal experience, a good first step isn’t to completely detox from social media, but to rethink how we use it.

“For me, I think a good first step in making a change to create a healthy balance between social media and in-person interactions is acknowledging that you’re using social media too much and that you need to just step away,” Hoang said.

Hoang suggests that recognizing the problem is the first step to correcting it. On the other hand, social media can still be used properly to connect with others.

This is described by Manago, where social media is utilized to connect, share reels, and laugh at funny videos, which can actually bring people closer together.

“But then we also saw lots of ways that youth were using phones together, like showing each other things. And that was conducive to feeling satisfied,” Manago said.

Social media has changed many people’s views on friendship and family since its introduction, with both major advantages and disadvantages. A common disadvantage is that it can make many users feel insecure.

“Teens who feel compelled to post only idealized images or updates often have underlying insecurities that social media amplifies. This anxiety may prevent authentic self-expression, increase stress, and make social interactions feel performative rather than genuine,” Granovetter said.

Manago frames the issue as whether friends value their friends more than they do on social media platforms.

“It’s not technology determining things. It’s us making choices about how we use technology for our goals and purposes,” Manago said.