The idiom “like a moth to a flame” means to be so irresistibly or even instinctively attracted to something that you ignore its potential consequences.
Moths and other nocturnal insects are naturally drawn to bright lights in this way, whether it be the innocuous and harmless nature of a porch lamp or the dangerous brilliance of a candle. It’s almost as if the incandescence itself sends a signal to the brain, surrendering it to the temptation of the forbidden.
Granted, for immigrant parents, my parents are not the strictest in the world. But I still grew up with the standard list of do’s and don’ts that most children are governed by: don’t stay up past 10 p.m., don’t visit certain websites, no phone until high school, finish your homework before watching TV, get good grades — the usual.
As I got older, the list evolved into an austere rulebook, born out of the fear of teenage rebellion, pregnancy, and all the other horrors of the unruly American school system that lived in our immigrant parents’ wild imaginations. Don’t do drugs, no drinking, no smoking, share your location, don’t go out on school nights, no partying, no swearing, no dating, no sex — the list goes on.
But curiosity tends to glow brighter in the dark, even when your self-discipline is as disciplined as it can be.
When my parents say “no” to something that seems completely harmless, something that has everything to do with me and nothing to do with them — like getting my belly button pierced – it just makes me want to do it more. Just recently, I saw a sophomore girl getting her belly button pierced in my school bathroom. What a sight that was. I wonder if her parents told her “no” too.
Even though I might seem like a stereotypical goody-two-shoes on the outside, I lie to my parents if I have to. Nothing drastic, but I’ll turn my location off, bypass screen-time passwords (sorry to my mom, who’s hopefully not reading this), and say I’m not with a boy.
Humans are naturally inclined to want what we can’t have. That’s why people are so drawn to the taboo. It’s like not letting a little kid eat candy. They’ll give you examples, like how their friend Tommy brought a whole pack of Skittles to school for lunch. They’ll say, “But Mom! Everyone gets to eat candy! Everyone but me!”
It all comes down to the word “no.” There’s just something about the word “no” that creates a certain thrill of doing something that you’re not supposed to.
It’s not just about breaking rules — it’s about proving people wrong. I want to prove to my parents that I can do all these, quote unquote, “rebellious” teenager things, while still being safe and responsible.
My parents are pretty big on the whole “don’t do drugs” thing. My mom, especially, is constantly drilling into me that once you’re addicted to drugs, there’s no way out.
Ironically, all that lecturing has piqued my curiosity. Every now and then, I find myself wondering, what if, on the slight off-chance, I’m one of the people who wouldn’t become addicted?
Parents don’t set rules with bad intentions. All that micromanaging, nitpicking, overbearingness, and helicopter parenting is done out of love and the desire for parents to protect their precious children. Because, really, we’re still babies in their eyes.
But being too strict can backfire. The more you tell a kid not to do something, the more they’ll want to do it. Sometimes, that means finding obscure or even unsafe ways to do so.
What parents should do, instead of saying “no” without a proper reason, is educate their children and allow them to be responsible for their own actions, even if that means potentially being uncomfortable with the choices their child makes.
Teenagers are old enough to distinguish right from wrong and good from bad. If a teen decides to go against their parents’ advice, it’s not necessarily defiance. Rather, it just means that they have thought through the different courses of action on their own.
Curiosity is like a flame. The more you try to contain it, the fiercer it becomes. As teenagers, we know that our parents don’t want us to get burned. But part of growing up is figuring out how far you can go without being “reckless,” and sometimes, you have to get burned to figure it out.
