The Love Blog: Relationship advice

High+school+relationships+are+common%2C+but+the+stereotypes+aren%27t+always+true.

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High school relationships are common, but the stereotypes aren't always true.

Let’s talk about relationships — romantic relationships.

In case you’re wondering how qualified I am to talk about this, I’m not. High school relationships are by no means equivalent to adult relationships. Things like marriage and moving in together are utterly foreign to me, so I’m not even going to try to talk about those.

But, I have plenty of experience in high school relationships. A lot of people overlook high school relationships and think that they’re childish or silly. However, I know – through experience – that they can really change someone. So, I’m here to give some advice to teenagers. You may accept it or ignore it, but keep in mind that this advice comes from my own experience; it may work for some and not others.

Parents

There is no doubt that parents can get in the way of high school relationships. While I was dating, I was never actually allowed to go on dates; there always had to be other people there with us. At first, I found this annoying. There’s no reason to date if you, well, can’t go on dates. 

It took me a while to realize it, but I came to appreciate the rules that my parents enforced. They were just trying to protect me, and all of my relationships had ended anyway. If I had spent more alone time with them, I probably would’ve gotten more attached, and the break-up would’ve been 10 times worst.

So, if you find yourself hating your parents because they won’t let you properly date someone, don’t. This is their way of showing you love because they don’t want to see you hurt.

Texting

You text each other when you wake up, before school, sometimes during school, and after school.

I personally have no problem with texting as long as it isn’t taking up all of your time. Some people stay up past midnight texting each other, but I really don’t see the logic behind that. You’ll just feel tired and grumpy the next day.

Also, try not to text while doing homework. It’s amazing how much work you can get done when you’re not on your phone. As a sophomore, I took no AP classes, but I still stayed up until who knows when in the morning finishing my work. But as a senior, I took three AP classes, and yet I consistently went to bed by 11 p.m. The difference is that I had a boyfriend my sophomore year. Evidently, I was spending a lot more time texting him than doing homework, and I sure had to deal with the consequence after.

Jealousy

This is definitely a touchy subject, but it needs to be addressed.

You see her with another guy, and while she claims they’re just friends, you can’t help but feel jealous. 

It’s OK to feel jealousy as long as it doesn’t turn into something toxic. If you become jealous and start telling your boyfriend or girlfriend to stop being friends with people, that’s not healthy. The problem behind your jealousy isn’t exactly that they’re friends with someone else; it’s that you’re afraid you’ll lose them.

The best thing to do to resolve jealousy is to talk with your partner and to trust them. Even after that, it’s OK to be jealous, but how you react to it is more important. 

Fights

I’ve been in my fair share of fights – fights over being friends with the opposite gender, fights over not texting back, and even fights over whether soccer or softball is the better sport. I’m not going to tell you not to have fights because that’s practically impossible. But like with jealousy, communication is key.

You can get mad at each other or take a break from being with one another as long as you resolve it in the end. It’s important during this resolution to talk about your feelings. And don’t just say things to say it. Be sincere, especially when you apologize.

If you find that it just doesn’t work out no matter how many times you guys try to solve things, it may be a sign to break up, which brings me to the last topic.

Break-ups

You’re bound to go through one sometime in your life. I’ll keep this section brief since the “Is This Love?” team already did a podcast on this, but the most important thing to do during this hard time is to reach out to friends. Even if you feel that you have no friends, there are plenty of people who are willing to talk to you when you feel down.

Or, you may be stuck in a place where you aren’t sure whether you should break up with them or not. The only advice I have for that is: You shouldn’t be unhappy most of the time. If you find yourself crying more than you are smiling, then that’s not a good sign.

In the end, relationships are complicated. There is no sure answer for every problem because everyone is different. But, I hope that my words of advice can lead you toward happiness.